Ugh.  I can’t sleep.  Haven’t all night.  I got in bed at 10:30, but it was useless.  I have gone to the bathroom at least 14 times (I didn’t count, but seriously, it has to be at least that many times).  And the worst part is that we finally gave in and turned the air on because it had gotten up to 80 degrees in the house- and 80 degrees indoors and a 38 week pregnant woman don’t mix.  But it isn’t working.  It’s blowing air, just not COLD air.  So I’ve been in the recliner since 1:30 with the ceiling fan going full blast.

I knew I might not be able to sleep because of excitement, but I didn’t think that I would be such a bundle of nerves.  I spent a good 2 hours fighting vomiting earlier this morning, and finally gave in to a queasy stomach around 3:30.  Since then, I feel fine.  Haha… isn’t it crazy how we process emotions?

Anyway, I have to wake Josh up at 7, so now I only have one hour left to waste before I can get him up and start getting ready (why did it take me an hour to write this?).  He woke up to check on me a little while ago and said that he had that feeling like when he was a little kid and he knew they were going on vacation the next day.  I’m glad to know that he’s feeling something, too- he’s so calm all the time!

If you’re up and reading this, make sure to head over to Nate’s page.  As of 5 am, Tricia was in her 8th hour of surgery for a double lung transplant.  They need our prayers this morning!

Well, as a friend of mine put it yesterday (uh oh, shout out), “Here’s to a healthy, fat baby- ’cause fat babies are the best kind!”  Come on, Ellie Catherine!

We are fourteen and 1/2 hours from the arrival of our precious baby girl!  The amnio came back great and Ellie is ready!  So are her Mommy and Daddy.  I bet I don’t sleep at all tonight and I bet Josh snores like a champ.

Keep our family in your prayers tonight and tomorrow.  I know that it will be a wonderful day filled with emotion.  I’ll be at Rockdale Medical Center- stop by if you’re local so I can show you how beautiful Ellie Catherine is!

I may try to get someone to post for me, but I may not.  I’ll have my iPhone, so maybe I can post myself from the hospital.  I’ll see if I can get a picture up as soon as possible.

Woo-hoo!

Wow- I lied again about keeping up better!  Sorry about that.  I have really good intentions when I say those things.  HA!

Well, I made it through the weekend.  I went to the doctor on Friday and basically we just went through the basics on the c-section.  It was nothing big, but I felt better after talking with the doctor because I don’t remember a lot of the details from the last c-section.  My blood pressure has stayed fairly steady, but it is still higher than what we’ve been used to for this pregnancy.

I went to the specialist today.  My blood pressure was a little high for the doctor’s taste, and she had said if it was higher than what she wanted she may not do the amnio.  It was borderline (148/88), so she went ahead with the amniocentesis. 

Have any of you ever had an amnio?  Oh… my… Lord.  She told me it would hurt for about 30 seconds.  She didn’t mention that the 30 seconds was only if the baby didn’t budge an inch and my uterus didn’t go into convulsions (both of which happened immediately).  As soon as the needle went into my belly, the baby moved, blocking the ONLY tiny pocket of fluid that she could find to draw from.  And, when the needle hit my uterus, it went into outer-space!!  I’m telling ya.   And the worst part?  She actually had to pull the needle out, wait for my uterus to stop contracting so hard, and try again.  Not fun.

So when it was over, not only did my belly hurt like the dickens, but I was so upset and nervous that I actually got sick in the doctor’s office.  She told me that my water could break after the procedure or that I may go into spontaneous labor (in which case they’d go ahead and do a c-section), but so far, my belly just hurts!  I’m still having contractions, but most of them aren’t very bad.  The worst part is how sore the spots are where she put the needle in.  So what’s today’s lesson, kids?  Amnio’s are not for recreational use.

Now I just have to go to sleep (ha… sleep… what’s that?) and wake up in the morning and wait to hear the results.  That will be just excruciating.  The bottom line is that if the results come back and say that Ellie’s lungs are ready and mature, we’re on for 12:30pm on Thursday.  If the results say that she’s not quite ready, they are going to push the c-section to April 10. 

If you will, please pray that the amnio says she looks good.  I think I will be a basketcase if they say she’s not ready, plus I’ll be just totally disappointed that I have to wait another entire week!!  I’m dying of boredom!  Don’t tell my boss, but I’d rather be at work than stuck here waiting…

I won’t say I’ll update tomorrow, but I probably will.  Check back to see what happens on the next exciting installment of… Baby’s Momma!

Well, I’m here… but things have definitely changed!  I write from my laptop lying in my bed instead of from my desk at work.  Honestly, I should’ve been writing a lot over the last few days because I’ve been so bored, but I’ve mainly watched TV and played on myspace.  (I can’t believe I just admitted that to the masses.  Well, if the 6 people that read this blog can be considered the “masses.”)

So here’s the recap:

Wednesday- last week: Shortly after I wrote my last blog, I called the doctor.  My contractions were getting closer and closer together, but I still wasn’t in a tremendous amount of pain.  They wanted to put me on a monitor, so I left work and went to the doctor.  Once I was on the monitor, my contractions were coming steadily at 3-5 minutes.  The baby was doing great- tolerating the contractions perfectly!  However, there was no change in my cervix, so they sent me home with instructions to come to the hospital if the contractions got closer together or more intense.  They said they wouldn’t be surprised to see me in the next 24 hours or so.

Thursday:  Having not slept- partly because of anxiety, partly because of contractions- I tried to stay in bed a little late, but as soon as I got out of bed, the contractions started coming quicker.  They got to be 2-3 minutes apart and were starting to hurt, so I got ready, went to town to run a couple of errands, called Josh, and headed to the hospital.  I was sure that they were going to keep me at this point and probably just decide to go ahead with the c-section.  However, they observed me for 2 hours and while I laid in the bed, the contractions got weaker and started to space out until they were coming at 8-10 minutes intervals.  Once again, the doc sent me home, this time telling me I needed to go to bed.  Ugh.

Friday, Saturday:  Things went fairly normal.  I took it easy, but I can’t say I actually went to bed.  I did some small things around the house ( I really have this obsession with my house being clean when I leave for the hospital), but mostly just watched Josh do some yard work.  The weather Friday and Saturday was gorgeous!

Sunday:  Things started to get interesting… of course, it was Easter Sunday, so we headed to church for all the festivities that includes.  Jared’s girlfriends’ parents came out to my parents’ home for Easter dinner.  When we got there for dinner, I noticed that I was really feeling bad.  I had a headache, felt like my heart was racing… classic signs of hypertension.  Trust me, I know what that feels like and have spent most of the last 9 months making sure that I was NOT having any of those symptoms.  I quietly told Josh and laid down for a nap after lunch.  We went home early in the evening and I started monitoring my blood pressure.  That evening, I had readings that weren’t horrible, but were much higher than what I’d been typically having for the last 9 months.  By middle of Sunday night, I was having readings of 167/89, which is not good for a preggo.

Monday:  I woke up with Josh at his normal work time and took my blood pressure.  It was 154/100.  Oh Lord.  I went back to bed and laid on my left side until 8 am, then took it once more- it wasn’t as bad, but was 172/90.  I immediately called the doctor and she said to be at her office at 10:15.  I got up, took care of the dog, the house, got ready and hit the road.  When I got to the doctor’s office, my blood pressure was back down to 130/80.  I had a trace of protein in my urine, but that’s not anything to really stress about.  They decided to draw labs and check my liver enzymes and kidney function.  The doc sent me to bed (for real, this time) and said to stay there until she called me on Tuesday morning with the lab results.  If the bloodwork came back anything but normal, they said they were going to go ahead and do the amnio and possibly deliver the baby.

Tuesday:  Bloodwork is normal!  I was so relieved.  But my blood pressure has still been a little bit elevated.  I already had an appointment with the specialist, so I headed to town.  I still had a trace of protein and my bp was still a little elevated, but since the bloodwork was normal, they weren’t too concerned.  So the specialist says that if I have any more high readings like I had on Monday, I am to go immediately to my OB and they will make a decision on what to do.  Most likely, if I make it to next Tuesday, they are going to skip the amnio and just go ahead with the scheduled c-section on Thursday of next week.  If there are no more bp issues, they will still do the amnio.

Wednesday:  Oh… that’s today!  Well, you know what I’m doing right now.  I’m sitting here in bed watching a rerun of the Wedding Planner on TBS and thinking that I need to go and get a shower!  I’ve also considered jumping on a trampoline, going for a walk to town, drinking castor oil, hand-scrubbing my floors, etc… but I’ll probably just stay here (maybe get a shower) and watch tv and play on the internet all day.

I’ll try to keep you posted from here on out.  Hopefully all will stay perfect and it will go as planned.  Of course, I won’t complain if I spontaneously go into labor and Ellie arrives a few days early!

Well, we’re down to 16 days on the c-section countdown.  However, since all the action on Saturday, I’m thinking it might be sooner than that!  We had really severe weather on Saturday and it damaged both of our vehicles and our house… through all the excitement, I started having contractions.  I’ve had them off and on since Saturday, but today they’ve gotten more regular.  They’re still 15-20 mintues apart, though, and at times, I’ll take an hour break.  I don’t know if they are false labor contractions or if they’re the real thing.  Anyone?

I’ll go Friday for my regular check-up, so we’ll find out if all the contractions have actually made me have any progress.  I thought about going to the doc today because I’d love for them to check me and tell me I’m dilating!  Oh… I’m SO ready.

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted- unless I go into labor and hit the hospital, in which case I would not be updating my blog for a few days…  but somehow I’ll let ya know.

Come on, baby Ellie!!  We’re ready for ya!

Yes, that’s the number of days until I hold my baby girl in my arms!  So, it’s been a while since I wrote and some things have changed.  Before I go any further, please know that I don’t want any “activists” commenting negatively on my blog.  I will delete them.  And I’m putting this up mainly for my friends to know what’s up, not as an opportunity for opinions.  Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I’m willing to share what’s up, just not willing to defend myself on my decision.

On April 1, I’ll be having an amniocentesis to check Ellie’s lung maturity.  There are a few things going on:  she’s big from diabetes, so they want to take her early (and avoid a possible recurrence of pre-eclampsia), but sometimes diabetes can delay lung maturity.  So we have to check to see if she’s ready for the outside world.  Assuming all of that comes back right, Ellie will be born via scheduled c-section on Thursday April 3.  That’s 3 weeks from today!

And I’m good with it. 

I was a little disappointed at first, because I really wanted to have a VBAC, but I ultimately want my girl here and healthy.  So I’m good.

The nursery is pretty much finished.  The laundry is caught up.  The house is clean.  I don’t know what in the world I’m going to do for the next 21 days, but hopefully it will go by quickly!

I’ll try to keep you updated more often than I have for the last few weeks, but with just 2 weeks of work left, I’m training someone and trying to get my ducks in a row after work.  You know, life is changing in 21 days!

Have you ever had a day that you’re just extremely grateful for what you have?  As I was writing that last paragraph on “32.6,” I thought of how thankful I am for my daughters.  Both are so different in relation to how they were conceived (Abby took almost a year, Ellie just a couple of weeks), carried (Abby was a tough pregnancy, Ellie has been a breeze) and of course, Abby’s delivery was traumatic and not the outcome we expected.

Then I read Nate Lawrenson’s morning post, and thought of how I can feel a little of their pain, but I really have no idea what they are going through.  I just thought of how good it is to be able to trust a God that really loves us and understands where we are and knows all the pain and joy and sorrow and excitement that we could ever go through.

I just really love the Lord and am so thankful that He loves me.  I was made for loving Him and He will never stop loving me.  Below are the lyrics to a really old song that I love and that tells a bit of how I feel when I say I love Him.  What I say can’t do justice, but I am glad that He hears “More Than Words.”

Lord, I don’t know what to say;
As I get down on my knees to pray,
The same old phrases come to mind,
But You’ve heard them all a thousand times.
It’s not that it’s untrue when I say “Lord, I love You”,
It’s just that I want it to be more.

As I consider quietly the wonder of all Your ability,
It’s more than I can comprehend, and I find myself in need again;
But if I had every word and a thousand years to use them,
What You are to me would still be more, oh, so much more, more than words

More Than Words, by Stephen Curtis Chapman

Wow- It’s been a while!  I didn’t realize I had been so negligent about my posts.  Life has been seriously busy for the last few weeks.  We have gotten a good bit done in the nursery- the crib is up, the desk and changing table have been refinished, and E L L I E has been hung as perfectly straight along the wall as I could get it without my husband divorcing me.  Drapes will be ready next week and the armoire is FULL of dresses!

Every evening that we’ve had free has been spent preparing for Ellie.  The key word is “free” because we still don’t have much of that, but we’ve tried to make time and spend evenings and afternoons at home.  I am thinking that life is going to come to a grinding halt when she gets here and I think it might be hard on me since I’m so used to running crazy all the time.  The good thing is that I think I will have a good reason to slow down a little! 

I have two more showers and they’re both this weekend- well, one is Sunday and one is Monday at work.  I’m so proud of myself that I’ve done all the Thank You notes from the other 3 showers I’ve had!  The ones that I will need to do after this weekend will likely take longer than the others since they are bigger showers than the others.  I’m looking forward to them both and doing my best to not look at my registry to see what’s been bought! LOL… I’m trying to savor the movements in my belly and the advice and stories I’m getting from friends since I know that those particular moments will be over soon.

Well, I am really counting down.  I can’t wait until the day I get to hold my beautiful daughter in my arms… I feel like I’ve been waiting for this day for years.  Oh, that’s right… I have!  Except for the 8 weeks that I wasn’t pregnant between Abby and Ellie, I have been pregnant since November of 2006.  Count ‘em:  That’s 16 months, ya’ll.  Whew.  But it’s all worth it.

Talk to you soon!

Ellie has assumed the position!  She’s now head down, face down, like she should be for birth.  I was glad to know that, since I know that sometimes face up can be very painful and cause back labor.  My cousin had to have a c-section due to her little one being face up.  We want to avoid all things c-section.

The doc said that she’s on the “big” side of “normal.”  My diabetes is still a little more out of control than they would like, so they increased my meds again and they said once I get my diabetes under control- if the growth of the baby is linked to diabetes- it should slow the growth down.  She wouldn’t show us her face yesterday… I think she’s tired of ultrasounds.  To be honest, I am too.  As usual, though, her leags were spread wide open.  HA!  It’s still a girl!  Only a few more weeks to go, though, so hopefully we’re in the single digits a far as weeks/ultrasounds/doctor’s visits left.

I haven’t had a chance to upload my video from the shower on Saturday.  I haven’t ever done it before, so I need to have some down time to sit at the computer and figure it out.  I want to get the tapes transferred to DVD, too, so hopefully I can figure out how to do it. 

Hope you’re having a great week so far- I’ll be going out of town this weekend for the shower that my Mom’s family is throwing.  I’m looking forward to it.  Next time we talk, I’ll be one week closer to having Ellie here!!!!!!

I’ve approached this subject once before (here), but lately I’ve revisited the concept.  Mainly because I still haven’t mastered it… Hopefully, I’m not the only one.  Hallelujah, I see that hand.

I check in 2 or 3 times a day with Nathan & Tricia (see link under “Kindreds”), and when I checked in just a few moments ago, I read this post.

I actually found myself ENRAGED.  I guess knowing a little bit of what they’re going through, I can’t believe that someone would be so insensitive as to intentionally hurt someone going through such a serious time in their life.  And even though I could feel the disappointment in Nate’s words at times, I was amazed that his post was written in love and forgiveness.  As Josh’s Nana would say, “Just when I think I’ve forgiven someone, I realize I still carry the rock in my pocket.”  That’s how I feel.  And trust me, I wouldn’t have been as kind to this person.  I might have even said some things that I wouldn’t be proud of.

And I’m not really talking about a friend who blabs about you and your boyfriend making out in the bleachers after school.  I’m talking about life-altering complications that change your life.  I’m talking big stuff: big hurt = big forgiveness.

So what makes forgiveness?  Do you forget about it and move on?  Do you forgive someone for an awful offense and just go back to normal?  Do you have this freeing, oceanic moment where you feel the anguish wash away or do you fight against its’ current day after day?  I haven’t figured it out yet.  I need to… I’m sure I still have some forgiving to do.