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Have you ever had a day that you’re just extremely grateful for what you have? As I was writing that last paragraph on “32.6,” I thought of how thankful I am for my daughters. Both are so different in relation to how they were conceived (Abby took almost a year, Ellie just a couple of weeks), carried (Abby was a tough pregnancy, Ellie has been a breeze) and of course, Abby’s delivery was traumatic and not the outcome we expected.
Then I read Nate Lawrenson’s morning post, and thought of how I can feel a little of their pain, but I really have no idea what they are going through. I just thought of how good it is to be able to trust a God that really loves us and understands where we are and knows all the pain and joy and sorrow and excitement that we could ever go through.
I just really love the Lord and am so thankful that He loves me. I was made for loving Him and He will never stop loving me. Below are the lyrics to a really old song that I love and that tells a bit of how I feel when I say I love Him. What I say can’t do justice, but I am glad that He hears “More Than Words.”
Lord, I don’t know what to say;
As I get down on my knees to pray,
The same old phrases come to mind,
But You’ve heard them all a thousand times.
It’s not that it’s untrue when I say “Lord, I love You”,
It’s just that I want it to be more.
CHORUS
More than words, I want my prayer to be
More than words, thoughts my heart alone can speak;
As you listen to me tell of all Your power and mercy,
Lord, You know it’s my desire that what You hear is more than words.
As I open up this Book,
And read of all the love it took
For a holy God to care for man;
Spirit, help me understand.
It’s not that it’s unclear, it’s a letter to children,
But Lord I know it’s meant to be much more.
CHORUS
More than words, not just letters on a page;
More than words, for every line and every phrase
Was a breath of inspiration from a caring Father
Who gave the gift of His Son to prove He loved us more than words.
As I consider quietly the wonder of all Your ability,
It’s more than I can comprehend, and I find myself in need again;
But if I had every word and a thousand years to use them,
What You are to me would still be more, oh, so much more, more than words
More Than Words, by Stephen Curtis Chapman
Wow- It’s been a while! I didn’t realize I had been so negligent about my posts. Life has been seriously busy for the last few weeks. We have gotten a good bit done in the nursery- the crib is up, the desk and changing table have been refinished, and E L L I E has been hung as perfectly straight along the wall as I could get it without my husband divorcing me. Drapes will be ready next week and the armoire is FULL of dresses!
Every evening that we’ve had free has been spent preparing for Ellie. The key word is “free” because we still don’t have much of that, but we’ve tried to make time and spend evenings and afternoons at home. I am thinking that life is going to come to a grinding halt when she gets here and I think it might be hard on me since I’m so used to running crazy all the time. The good thing is that I think I will have a good reason to slow down a little!
I have two more showers and they’re both this weekend- well, one is Sunday and one is Monday at work. I’m so proud of myself that I’ve done all the Thank You notes from the other 3 showers I’ve had! The ones that I will need to do after this weekend will likely take longer than the others since they are bigger showers than the others. I’m looking forward to them both and doing my best to not look at my registry to see what’s been bought! LOL… I’m trying to savor the movements in my belly and the advice and stories I’m getting from friends since I know that those particular moments will be over soon.
Well, I am really counting down. I can’t wait until the day I get to hold my beautiful daughter in my arms… I feel like I’ve been waiting for this day for years. Oh, that’s right… I have! Except for the 8 weeks that I wasn’t pregnant between Abby and Ellie, I have been pregnant since November of 2006. Count ‘em: That’s 16 months, ya’ll. Whew. But it’s all worth it.
Talk to you soon!
Ellie has assumed the position! She’s now head down, face down, like she should be for birth. I was glad to know that, since I know that sometimes face up can be very painful and cause back labor. My cousin had to have a c-section due to her little one being face up. We want to avoid all things c-section.
The doc said that she’s on the “big” side of “normal.” My diabetes is still a little more out of control than they would like, so they increased my meds again and they said once I get my diabetes under control- if the growth of the baby is linked to diabetes- it should slow the growth down. She wouldn’t show us her face yesterday… I think she’s tired of ultrasounds. To be honest, I am too. As usual, though, her leags were spread wide open. HA! It’s still a girl! Only a few more weeks to go, though, so hopefully we’re in the single digits a far as weeks/ultrasounds/doctor’s visits left.
I haven’t had a chance to upload my video from the shower on Saturday. I haven’t ever done it before, so I need to have some down time to sit at the computer and figure it out. I want to get the tapes transferred to DVD, too, so hopefully I can figure out how to do it.
Hope you’re having a great week so far- I’ll be going out of town this weekend for the shower that my Mom’s family is throwing. I’m looking forward to it. Next time we talk, I’ll be one week closer to having Ellie here!!!!!!
I’ve approached this subject once before (here), but lately I’ve revisited the concept. Mainly because I still haven’t mastered it… Hopefully, I’m not the only one. Hallelujah, I see that hand.
I check in 2 or 3 times a day with Nathan & Tricia (see link under “Kindreds”), and when I checked in just a few moments ago, I read this post.
I actually found myself ENRAGED. I guess knowing a little bit of what they’re going through, I can’t believe that someone would be so insensitive as to intentionally hurt someone going through such a serious time in their life. And even though I could feel the disappointment in Nate’s words at times, I was amazed that his post was written in love and forgiveness. As Josh’s Nana would say, “Just when I think I’ve forgiven someone, I realize I still carry the rock in my pocket.” That’s how I feel. And trust me, I wouldn’t have been as kind to this person. I might have even said some things that I wouldn’t be proud of.
And I’m not really talking about a friend who blabs about you and your boyfriend making out in the bleachers after school. I’m talking about life-altering complications that change your life. I’m talking big stuff: big hurt = big forgiveness.
So what makes forgiveness? Do you forget about it and move on? Do you forgive someone for an awful offense and just go back to normal? Do you have this freeing, oceanic moment where you feel the anguish wash away or do you fight against its’ current day after day? I haven’t figured it out yet. I need to… I’m sure I still have some forgiving to do.
Well, I’m learning that everything people have said about back pain and fatigue are absolutely TRUE! My sciatic nerve is killing me and I think I could sleep all day long! But I don’t care. I’m actually enjoying this stage of pregnancy~ the beginning of baby showers and working on the nursery… it’s actually real now and I know she’ll be here soon!
I’m having a really hard time with work lately. As in, I don’t want to go! It’s been more busy the last few weeks and it’s a little harder on me by the end of the day. Plus, we’re a little short-handed and it seems that I’m busier and busier! Of course, I’m looking foward to my time off with Ellie, but sometimes I wish I could go ahead and take part of my leave so I could just rest!
I went to the specialist on Tuesday and everything is still looking good. They measured the fluid and it looks fine. They will measure Ellie this coming week to guesstimate her size. They want to make sure she’s not getting too fat. We don’t want her to get too fat, but if she wants to get a little bigger so she can come at, say, 38 weeks, I will not complain! Actually, I just don’t want to have a c-section, so whatever has to happen for that plan to go through, that’s what I want. Anyway, she’s locked and loaded- head down, but she’s facing up right now (occiput posterior presentation). That could change, though. I hope it does because most of the time this presentation means the dreaded back labor!
I’m excited about my shower this Saturday given by Josh’s family. I hear that a lot of people are coming and I can’t wait to see all the precious (undoubtedly pink) stuff that Miss Ellie is going to get!!
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend and maybe I’ll post some pictures (or video) of the shower. I’ve been meaning to learn how to post a video anyway.
I’m sitting here this morning, an hour and a half into the work day, and my baby is dancing in my belly. She is very active, but she really started jamming last night as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers started “American Girl” during the halftime show at the Super Bowl.
I’m so grateful to have her bouncing around in there. And each time she moves, I’m filled with wonder and amazement that God created life in this way and that I’m able to participate in such a miracle.
Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Whatchu talking 'bout Willis?